I'm Strong

what a day for me today( 2/3/2011) hehehe, i just can say it , it one of the another day that im feeling uneasy and tension... i always try to show everyone how happy am i outside but at the inside i cannot lie...i cannot lie to myself..i just not happy as i thought...i want to be happy...i keep telling myself be strong hadi..be strong...whatever happen u know that u are strong person...but still im just me....deep inside my heart im just another normal human being that can be hurt ....my heart is not strong as i thought...hahaha.... omg  ...stop2....
okay for whatever reason...this coming 2 weeks..i will be busy with assignment, test, quiz and many more...im going crazy..but i must set the best time for me to do all the things...to study..to finish my assignment...i do have dreams to achieve ..so i must do it..must finish it...for whatever reason...i know i can...today again my portfolio been rejected by the lecturer..actually it so sickened my heart...but what to do..maybe its just not good enough right..heee..so what i want to talk next..yes about debat integriti...skrg ni dlm proses pemilihan lah cam 2..actually im so afraid...totally freak out...i do not know what to say...i want it badly but i know my way is still long so i just dont want to put a high harapan but i cannot help it... i always trying to improve myself to be better...ak bljr satu perkara melalui tue jgk..ak rasa mmg ptut ak tak pg debat royal sem lepas...sbb masa tue ak sgtlah lemah ....and now...walaupun i dah brjaya lakukan perubahan but adakah i jer yg rasa kan perubahan itu..ataupun perubahan itu smmgnya tak ckup lagi...i always give a great commitment cuz when i with all ucapian doing the latihan, sparing ...i feel it...seriusly i cannot lie to myself...i hate to be alone actually..with them i feel occupied and less lonely...and i can keep practising to be more better..better and better...maybe i should change my sight of thinking..i talk to another that please dont be sad if anything happen but actually im the one who afraid it, so hipokrit right...omg....i will end this...so ape2 pun saper2 pun yg trpilih bwatlah yg trbaik k... i will always pray for u all ... and do the best..show that we can do it...yeahhh...